PETALING JAYA: If you’re the kind of person who talks to your cat like it’s your housemate or plans your weekends around your dog’s walking schedule, you’re hardly alone.
In Malaysia, pets are often much more than “animals we keep”. They are family, companions during long workdays, and sometimes the only one at home who seems happy to see you after a long day at work.
At the same time, anyone who has ever cleaned up a mysterious mess at 2am or coaxed a fussy furkid into eating will tell you that pet parenting is not always smooth-sailing. It can come with worry, guilt, and the occasional, “Aiyo, why you like that one?”
That emotional mix is exactly what an October study published in PLOS One explored. The researchers suggested that while pet attachment can be beneficial, the type of attachment and the day-to-day “fit” between owner and pet may matter more than you think when it comes to mental wellbeing.
The study surveyed 600 young adults aged 18-26 in the UK who owned dogs and/or cats, and who self-identified as experiencing anxiety and/or low mood, with some reporting clinical diagnoses.
Researchers examined pet attachment styles, including secure attachment, as well as insecure styles such as anxious or avoidant attachment.
In everyday terms, secure attachment is defined by comfort with physical closeness, emotional communication with one’s pet, and an overall healthy relationship.
Anxious attachment can look like excessive worry about a pet’s wellbeing, a heightened sense of distress when separated, or a constant need for reassurance that everything is fine.
Avoidant attachment, on the other hand, may involve emotional independence and a lower tendency to rely on the pet for comfort, even if the owner still cares deeply.
Notably, dog owners reported more secure attachment overall compared with cat owners, which might not be surprising given that dogs often reciprocate when it comes to companionship.
When the bond starts to feel heavy
Here’s where the research gets especially relatable. The study found that among dog owners, anxious attachment was linked to poorer mental health, including higher anxiety and depression symptoms.
It also found that insecure attachment patterns were associated with owners reporting more behavioural issues in their pets, poorer owner-pet compatibility, and poorer perceived quality of life for the pet.
For dog owners specifically, poorer perceived welfare and behavioural problems were linked to poorer mental health, suggesting that when owners feel their dog is struggling, it can affect them emotionally in a very real way.
In practice, this can look like a loop many pet parents recognise. If you are already stressed or anxious, you may be more sensitive to signs that your pet is unhappy; while a pet that is nervous, reactive or difficult to manage can add extra pressure to your day.
The result is not simply “I love my dog”, but “I love my dog, and I’m constantly worried I’m not doing enough” – which is a far heavier emotional load to carry.
Compatibility issues
One of the most useful ideas in the study is compatibility, because it shifts the conversation away from guilt and towards reality. Sometimes, the issue is not whether you love your pet enough, but whether your lifestyle suits their needs.
A high-energy dog in a small apartment, a pet that needs constant engagement when you work long hours, or a sensitive animal living in a loud household can all create friction, even when the bond is strong.
In Malaysia, where many people juggle long commutes, family responsibilities and unpredictable schedules, it is easy to see how even a well-loved pet can become another source of worry when the routine starts to feel unmanageable.
The study also found that the link between perceived pet welfare and owner’s mental health was clearer among dog owners than cat owners. This could be because dogs often require more hands-on daily care such as walking, training and supervision, while cats are more independent.
Still, the bigger message remains relevant regardless of species: that the emotional experience of pet ownership is shaped by everyday life, not just affection.
This research is not a warning against attachment, and it certainly isn’t saying pets are bad for mental health. If anything, it reflects what many pet owners already understand instinctively – that love can be both comforting and complicated, especially when you are already carrying stress of your own.
The bond feels best when it comes with steadiness, when you feel supported by your routines rather than trapped by them, and when you can meet your pet where they are without constantly fearing you are falling short.
In the end, the healthiest relationships – even the ones with paws and whiskers – are not built on perfection but on small, consistent acts of care that quietly say, “I’m here, we’ll figure it out together.”
