Q: I try to avoid conflict, especially with my spouse, but we still argue sometimes. I am worried this is a sign our relationship is struggling. What is your advice?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: The presence of conflict does not inherently signal trouble within a relationship. Certain conflicts can be an indicator that a relationship is strong. For example, conflicts can occur when two people are closely connected, like spouses who intimately understand each other. While such dynamics can lead to problems, they also show the existence of an intimate bond, which is a good thing.
Spouses argue because they are both opinionated adults and know their preferences, desires and beliefs. While this can have its own set of challenges, it is also one of the ingredients that can make a marriage truly great.
Surprisingly, conflicts often arise between spouses because of their love for each other. Each partner cares about the thoughts and actions of the other, which can lead to some heated exchanges but generally driven by well-intentioned motives.
Every relationship, especially close ones such as marriage, is susceptible to conflicts. Undoubtedly, if left unchecked, conflicts can escalate and become detrimental. Hence, it is important to learn how to handle conflicts in a constructive manner, to strengthen your relationship instead of tearing it down.
Q: My children and their friends keep talking about TikTok. I would like to understand what TikTok is and what information is essential for me to know as a parent.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: TikTok is a popular social media platform that allows users to share brief video clips online. In essence, TikTok can be likened to YouTube but with much shorter videos. While videos can span up to 60 seconds, many are considerably shorter. TikTok videos can feature a wide range of content designed to captivate users’ attention.
You will come across dancing and singing, which was the platform’s original focus, but you may also encounter a variety of other content, such as amusing animal moments or individuals engaging in quirky activities, such as sipping milk while lying down. In summary, TikTok is a creative digital outlet that appeals to tweenagers, teenagers and even adults, who enjoy sharing lighthearted and entertaining content.
However, it is not all just fun and games, as there are some important concerns that parents should be aware of. The platform’s usage guidelines forbid graphic, violent, risky, sexually explicit, or hateful content, but these rules can be somewhat lenient.
For example, profanity is not explicitly banned and many young users share videos that are suggestive without displaying explicit images. Although the platform officially prohibits users under the age of 13, this is a guideline that many underage users tend to disregard. Additionally, young users may end up in conversations with adults they are unfamiliar with through the application’s comment feature.
TikTok has evolved into a prime platform for viral video challenges, some of which can involve significant risks. On a deeper level, TikTok revolves around the idea of capturing attention, with videos essentially shouting, “Pay attention to me!” This aspect is not unique to TikTok and is characteristic of social media in general. However, TikTok seems tailor-made and it is effortless to spend substantial amounts of time viewing frivolous content. While TikTok claims its mission is “to inspire creativity and bring joy,” it is essential to acknowledge that the platform also provides various avenues for children to encounter problems if parents do not monitor their viewing and posting activities.
The article was contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
