Q: I feel my children are old enough to have social media accounts but I am apprehensive about it. Do you have any advice?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: We have all heard stories of individuals posting offensive comments on social media and losing their jobs, young individuals encountering explicit content online and grappling with pornography, teenage girls facing bullying on platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, and numerous other incidents.
One foolish mistake on social media can haunt a person for years. All it takes is one insensitive comment, a misinterpreted Instagram picture or an unguarded moment captured on Snapchat.
None of us want to see our children in these situations. However, we live in a media-driven world, and the internet is here to stay. By talking openly with your children and putting in place sensible safeguards, they can learn to navigate the web safely and responsibly.
Begin by instilling in your children the importance of a good reputation. As the classic proverb goes: “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches”, a sentiment particularly relevant in today’s digital era. It takes hard work to earn the respect of others, and only one brief, lapse in judgement to lose it all.
Furthermore, it is crucial to be involved in your child’s online activities. As parents, we need to repeatedly talk with our children about the potential risks of the internet, and reaffirm their awareness of the ramifications of what they post online.
Beyond issuing warnings, parents should set age-appropriate boundaries around online time, begin talking at an early age about discernment and install filters that will block objectionable content.
Lastly, parents should be aware of the social networks their children are involved in. You may even consider requesting access to their passwords, especially with younger teenagers, to ensure their safety online.
Q: When should I tell my parents and siblings that my marriage is on the rocks? My wife and I have been struggling for a long time. We are seeing a counsellor and we want the relationship to work but so far things are not getting any better.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Generally speaking, secrets are a bad thing whereas confidentiality is good. When someone who needs to know something does not, that is keeping a secret.
On the contrary, when the people who need to know are informed and the rest of the world are unaware, healthy confidentiality is maintained.
However, when information spreads to everyone, regardless of who they are, it transforms into gossip, and this is not in anyone’s best interest.
In this context, the general rule of thumb is to dispense information only on a need-to-know basis. If a physical change in your living arrangements is imminent, then immediate family members are going to have to know about it sooner or later, and it would be best if they hear it from you first.
This does not mean that you have to share all the details with them. Discuss your deepest concerns only with people you trust implicitly and regard this as thoroughly healthy and safe.
Everybody needs a strong support system to turn to in times of trouble. Ideally, we all want our family to be in that network. However, family members can sometimes be overly emotional and biased, making it challenging to maintain an objective perspective.
If you trust that your family members can listen with compassion and genuinely aim to provide you with solid, objective and impartial advice, it may be worthwhile to share your thoughts and feelings with them.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
